Introducing Glamour Domme Lilly

I am a professional Domniatrix in the San Francisco Bay area. I live in Sunnyvale and primarily work in west San Jose. However, I do travel and I frequently attend fetish, femme domme and BDSM related parties, events and other activities in SF, LA and DC. While I am based in the South Bay, I do travel to San Francisco, the East Bay and Marin County.
My upcoming travel schedule includes appearances in Los Angeles, Orange County, San Diego, Sacramento and Washington, D.C. I truly enjoy double Domme sessions, and wives and girlfriends are invited to join my private sessions at no extra charge. I ask all new potential subs to complete an application to determine your interests and desires. Am I the right Dominatrix for you?
Do you have nightmares of unending torture at the hands of a cruel Mistress, or sweet dreams of tease and denial by an unattainable dream girl? If you wish to be tantalized by sweetness, just to be tormented by a wicked woman who will embrace your deepest, darkest, cruelest desires, then you will be right at home with me. If you yearn for a warmhearted smile and a merciless hand, you will need your Mistress to lead you to delightful fulfillment…. my curvaceous body and coy smile should not mislead you – I am your Mistress and you will be the slave that I deserve, or you will be punished!

Fetish role-play is my specialty, with my preference for the classic Mistress/slave - although if you have an active imagination (which I imagine you do), I am always interested in hearing your ideas! In fact, I would particularly enjoy being amused by your stories.
Of course I also love to indulge in a number of fun fetishes and delightfully dark activities. Some of these include slave training, forced feminization/cross-dressing, sensory deprivation, trampling, medical play, electrical play, corporal punishment (spanking, paddles, floggers, crops, canes), CBT & NT and bondage; I take particular pleasure in watching you struggle and strain as you are caressed by a soft rope.
As you’ll see, I am bewitched by objectification, humiliation, exhibitionism, and voyeurism. You’ll also notice that I have a marked fondness for leather & latex and luxuriate in it. It is my purpose to make a fantasy that takes you wherever you want to go, bring your fantasy to life. BDSM is an intensely personal and meaningful experience, from either side.

It is my purpose to make a fantasy that takes you wherever you want to go, bring your fantasy to life. BDSM is an intensely personal and meaningful experience, from either side. I am both dominant and submissive in my personality, and I believe that helps me better create our scenes as I can intimately identify with each perspective.
Being on the other end of the psyche is refreshing and I welcome the chance to gain more experience in that realm; however, you must first experience my dominant persona. If I am so inclined, I may switch for you in our next appointment.
I am here because I want to experience intensity; I want to feel more, think more, experience more, and be more. I want to experience intensity because I want to live intensely. I take control of another because when I become the orchestrator and the director of their world, when I can set the stage and write the script and make them, for a little while, become someone else, somewhere else, then I can feel what it is to wake the sleeping lion - and that is heady stuff indeed.

Although my sessions are highly charged erotically, please understand that no sexual contact will be permissible. Please take note that there are a number of things I do NOT offer (I am not even allowed to print them, so please email me for specifics).

No matter how we choose to play, if you please me, you will find your pleasure in spite of your predicament… and I will so enjoy twisting you around my little finger, making you my pet.

Now that you have found me, I want to know precisely how you wish to serve and please me.

Are your subs primarily married or single, and will you do sessions with wives or girlfriends present?

I would guess over 90% of my subs are married men. This situation does not bother me and the major drawback as far as I am concerned is that it is difficult for married men to go out at night.

This means they are frequently unable to attend BDSM related events, nightclubs and parties. For obvious reason it is also impossible to talk to them on the phone when they are at home. On the other hand, at the BDSM nightclubs in San Francisco and Los Angeles I rarely meet married men. A primary reason is that these parties often come alive around midnight.

I have spoken to other ProDommes about this issue and we are all pleased that an increasing number of subs are bringing both their wives or girlfriends to sessions. Wives are also starting to contact Dommes on behalf of their husbands.

These are wonderful developments and I hope this trend continues. I will never have an objection to a wife or partner either observing or participating in a session. This also has no impact on the tribute fee. I have always enjoyed working with couples and these sessions are really enjoyable. I often teach wives to take over my job when they are back home.

What level of skill does a Mistress need to obtain in order to use the term "professional Dominatrix?"

To my knowledge, there is no such thing as a master's degree or doctorate in BDSM. Aside from the the outstanding Glamour Domme Alliance, Dommes do not belong to a professional association and there is no set of criteria for using this term. Anyone can call themselves a ProDomme. To be blunt, a number of retired sex workers have retreated to the BDSM scene without the benefit of any training. This is very unfortunate because untrained Dommes have the potential to injure a sub.

For some submissives simple beating is enough and these women have been able to continue in business. I can also sympathize with subs who have described sessions with unskilled Mistresses as being "lingerie modeling with an attitude or paid punishment."

What is the difference between a slave and a client?

There is no correct answer to this question. A slave is one who has either given up or has been stripped of his or her freedom to do as he or she wishes. A slave is under the control of another, and will do as told without question, or is punished. A slave's purpose in life is to serve, and to this end they should go to great lengths and take great care, and hopefully they will please their owner.

The relationship between a slave and owner is personal, where human feelings, care and consideration plays a role. It is a relationship of unequal power exchange where the slave can expect to give much more than they receive. However, the slave may find great happiness in pleasing his or her owner.

In contrast, a client is one of two parties in a business transaction, either supplying or receiving goods or services in an equal exchange. As the old saying goes, you get what you pay for. The relationship of client to vendor is balanced or "business-like", and no more personal than necessary to transact the exchange. In my opinion, you will not be successful in business if you behave in the manner of a slave, and likewise you will have challenges in submission if you behave as a client.

What is Sensual Domination?

First, let me emphasize that every session is different because every guy is different. There are a surprising number of guys who are not into pain. This is especially true of novices. That is fine with me, and what these guys wanted was sensual domination.

The activities in this area include role play, light bondage, golden showers, cross dressing, tease and denial play, etc. The sensual domination guys usually ask about nudity. Every Domme has a different policy. Lady Ashley Pierce did all of her sessions in the nude, but I will not remove my bikini panties. Sensual domination can also involve the light trailing of ones hair, nails or breath on the skin, feathers, low sultry talk, hot towels, ice, wax, vibration and other "sensations" works well for this sort of scene.

Sensual domination can involve bondage with scarves as opposed to handcuffs, feathers, skin, whispering, blindfolds, sensation play, foot and shoe worship are also in this category. I want to read something to you from Contessa deiFiori of London: "When I talk about sensual domination, I refer to a session which will overload the sub's senses without it being harsh or rude. I use a soft, calm voice - sometimes it is a mere whisper. . . . The play is in the mind and the body is the means to excite a sub's brain to me, that is what I call sensual domination."

Meeting a ProDomme for the First Time

The article below was written by V. Elliot and it originally appeared in Domazine. It has subsequently appeared on several Internet sites. The observations are outstanding and I believe they are worth repeating once again. This long article has been slighted edited for space purposes, and the author can be contacted at v_elliot@mailcity.com)

There was just something about a villainous woman zipped into a form fitting shiny black suit. Long before I was even really sure what sex was, I discovered a very peculiar feeling building inside me anytime Julie Newmar appeared on the television screen during afternoon syndicated re-runs. More often than not, she was tying up some hapless superhero with intent to cut him in two with a giant circular saw. Too bad she never got away with it; that meddlesome Batman somehow always managed to ruin her sadomasochistic fun, and mine. Little did I realize that funny little feeling would stay with me to this day.

Keep in mind that being a good Dominatrix isn't a matter of putting on thigh high stiletto heeled boots and a bitchy disposition. It takes skill, intelligence, imagination, a genuine interest, and experience. The same can be said for being a good slave,

Here's some advice from someone who has been playing for about nine years, has met numerous Dominas, and only has a few bad experiences to whine about. Don't be shy:

One thing a Dominatrix isn't good at is mind reading.

You'll be in for a huge disappointment if you show up, mumble something about your foot fetish, and then get sixty minutes of boot worship. They've heard everything before and nothing you can possibly say will shock them or cause you any embarrassment. "If you like having your face flushed in the toilet, let her know. On the same token, be very explicit about your limits or concerns.

Never fake experience if you are a novice. Most Dominas enjoy beginners as long as they've researched a little and know what might interest them. "She may be the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, but if her interests and experience level don't match your own, you'll be very disappointed. You may desperately want to submit before the girl on the cover of this month's Vogue, but it's unlikely she would be a very good Dominatrix. Keep yourself open to new experiences as well. A Dominatrix may be particularly good at something you may not have given much thought to, but later find you enjoy immensely. Setting rigid rules to play by or offering set scripts will stifle her creativity. Let her dominate you. It is, after all, what you came for.

Do you boss around your doctor and lawyer, or do you respect their rules of engagement and advice? Whether you are a masochist, fetishist, or submissive, you are there to submit on some level. Be submissive and respect her rules. Be realistic: Chances are you're not going to get involved in any kind of personal relationship with a professional Dominatrix outside of the dungeon.

I'm not saying this cannot or does not happen, it has, but keep yourself and your feelings in perspective. It's very easy to become infatuated with your Mistress, but unlikely she will feel the same way. Dominatrixes are people just like the slaves who serve them. They have other lives, other interests, and other friends.

Talk with your Mistress. If a Dominatrix is not willing to take a few moments before and after meetings to discuss the session or the weather, I won't return to her again. Try to avoid the "after orgasm ego adjustment" and let her know what you liked and didn't like, or just thank her for a wonderful experience. "Offer some things you might like to try next time. Ask her questions about some piece of equipment she has or compliment what she is wearing.

Dominatrices are proud of their equipment and wardrobe, and will usually be more than delighted to talk about them. You won't win any brownie points by zipping up your fly and leaving with a "later babe."

Most importantly, have fun! Dominance and submission is about having fun. Personally, I view domination as the opportunity to live out fantasies and escape for an hour or two. Whether you like it or not, you have to return to the real world when the session ends. There are deep psychosexual motivations at work here, but don't wrap yourself up too tightly ... she'll be more than happy to do that for you.

The Social Life of a Submissive

I recently attended a large and typical BDSM party. The ratio was about 80 percent men and 20 percent women. A significant number of these women were accompanied by partners. I immediately noticed four very attractive Generation X women in fetish attire who were sitting at a table near the dance floor. Two of them were wearing black leather mini skirts and another looked great in a cat suit. I thought they would all receive alot of attention.

As the evening progressed they were still sitting and at times dancing by themselves. I am not bisexual but I did introduce myself and made positive comments about their stunning appearance. They were very friendly and it was obvious to me that they wanted to meet men in the BDSM scene. I had a great time with them, and these were women who had it all. Not only were they beautiful, but they were intelligent, fun and three of them had exciting careers (the fourth was a graduate student).

If I was a guy, these single women would have been perfect. They wanted to meet the two men I had been talking to earlier in the evening, but quickly changed their minds when I told them both were married men.

My behavior was right out of high school, but I did spot two subs who I knew were single, available and in their mid-30's. I pointed them out to the group. They agreed that they would be good candidates and I took off to find them. They both promised to come over to our table and I would introduce them. I should have dragged them back with me because neither sub approached our group.

I later asked the subs what happened and both of them claimed to be shy. The party was filled with single subs and I am still surprised that they did not take the initiative to introduce themselves. Perhaps this is part of being submissive but they clearly missed meeting some wonderful new people.

I later sent an e-mail about this incident to a sub I greatly admire, but I also suspected that he was shy around women. I want to share his response with the board "Your comments about the single submissives and their reticence is not surprising. It is part of the nature of submissiveness, but its also tied up (pardon the pun) in other aspects of personality. As you know, many submissives are highly sucessful types with vivid imaginations and high IQs. Those very qualities prerequisite in most cases a confusing amalgam of self-doubt and self-respect: these are people who became self-aware and empathetic at a time in their lives when most around them were functioning on a level of a cat: 'I see what I want and I go after it.' This isn't confidence, but obliviousness and a lack of shame.

"Some years ago, a good friend of mine complained constantly about the quality of men who

approached her. Until I pointed it out, it hadn't occurred to her that the quality men would never dream of approaching her in the first place: they were either reading Sartre or Heidiegger in some corner or if in the room wouldn't want to invade someone else's personal space. And of course, there's cowardice.

"It does give me pause that I've been floundering around trying to find Mistress Right for a good long time. On the other hand, I've come to accept over the years on a visceral level my inability to force events to fruition: one day at a time. I can only do so much."

My simple question is: Are all of you subs shy around women in a social situation? If a woman you find appealing smiles at you during a party, would you go and talk to her?